Oh hey! I remember you.
It’s been a while. I can admit to that. Life has been keeping my feet running and my brain pumping to its full capacity. School is in session and it’s taking a wild beating on my body and brain. I’m struggling in a few ways, where education isn’t the first of this matter. On that note, I’m actually doing really well in school. I’ve never done this well in biology, being one of the top students in a 60+ class.
I’m struggling with my life and my outlook on everything. I’m living back at home and back to the urban lifestyle. As much as I wish to admit that I’m not on the computer or watching television (like I wrote about in an earlier post) I must confide that I have been swimming in a mass of media. It’s not that I need it all for school. Heck, I spend 98% of my time with this technology just for the sole purpose of pleasure. Not that kind of pleasure.
I’m wasting my hours, days, weeks away and I can’t dig myself out of it. This is actually the first time I’m admitting all this. I’m hoping that this will spark a fire in my head and get the ball moving in the right direction. Like I said, I’m struggling. I’m struggling with my life in social terms as well as happiness. I work and do school. I workout. Eat. Sleep. Then do it all over again. I can’t say that I don’t have time for other things, because obviously I do. I’m using my free time sitting on the couch hovered over the computer, massaging my iPhone keyboard obsessing over twitter, re-winding/pausing and repeating episodes of Biggest Loser. I need to figure this out.
Needless to say, I have some priorities I need to re-arrange in my life. I feel somewhat stuck in this urban life. I’m doing great in school, finally, and saving a lot of money living at home. I’m focused here and able to succeed in my classes. But I’m not truly happy. Some people may think that college isn’t a time for happiness but determination and a difficult, demanding period in your life. I have to disagree. I think happiness is finding the balance between succeeding in school, work or whatever you are dealing with in your life, and finding peace in the rest of your life. I haven’t figured out that balance yet. I plan on doing another semester or two here and then figuring out a bigger plan for my life. I’m planning on transferring to a bigger school, moving out into my own place, and establishing myself again. I’m ready to meet new people and try new things.
I apologize for the mush of emotions and thoughts throughout this post, but I needed to get them down. They might not flow together as one would hope but I think the message comes across clear. My friend Lacey recently replied to one of my messages stating “Niki, why are you so perfect?” Oh boy, is that far from the truth. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. According to the tweet, my strength happens to be in the form of health. I’m cool with that. I’m passionate about health and it shows in the way I choose to live my life and the foods I consume. I’ve got that down. But I have so many other things I need to work on in life. As we all do.
I just need to learn to take a deep breath sometimes, step back from the computer and get outside for a walk. Sometimes you just need that fresh air to screw your head back on straight. I know I’m not going to get rid of twitter or using the computer for personal sources, but I can manage my time a bit more wisely and live my life to a fuller potential. I know this is the temporary and things will get better from here.
To end this on a slightly positive note, I’ll show you a little something I’ve been feasting on lately. This my friends, is kale. Super green filled with so many vitamins, enzymes and nutrients your body screams with excitement. When eaten in its raw state, it can provide you with a substantial amount of nutrients for optimal health. I eat this super green every single day. I have no recipes for you today but I can give you a lineup of what I eat on an average day.
Breakfast: Grapefruit & a Tofu scramble Organic spinach, organic firm tofu, carrots, garlic, onion, nutritional yeast, salt, pepper, and cayenne pepper.
Snack: Carrots/Hummus & Nuts Either a small handful of raw almonds or a small serving of walnuts mixed with craisins.
Lunch: Kale salad- Huge kale salad filled with sun-dried tomatoes, sprouted lentils, sprouted quinoa, mushrooms, lemon juice, sea salt, and raw apple cider vinegar
Snack: Fruit- Usually some type of fruit, whether it’s a peach, banana, apple, or grapefruit
Dinner: Variety- Usually a combination of lunch, with cooked lentils, quinoa, spinach, and/or sweet potatoes.
That’s just a sample of what I generally eat on a regular day. Things vary but that’s the majority of it. I do make green smoothies a lot, green juices, veggie burgers, oatmeal, and hummus. I drink coffee on occasion, but it’s very acidic on the body so I try to limit myself.
Well I’m going to stop feeling sorry for myself, get my butt of this couch, sign off twitter, yahoo, wordpress and any other accounts I have and run to the gym. I’m going to try to prioritize more efficiently and make better use of my time. I’m hoping to make blog posting a bigger priority while not letting it consume a large portion of my time.