muddy footsteps

No Control

Posted in Uncategorized by nicolejanaye on May 3, 2010

One of the most bizarre, mind-boggling, heart-pumping things just happened to me. Things like this have been documented, researched, and tested over and over again.

Millions of people around the world experience this.


Sleep paralysis.


I’m not an expert on this. I know nothing of the sort. It just happened to me for the first time; literally 5 minutes ago. This video might help explain it further. I’m not here to say details of the condition, but just my experience. I will let the videos describe more.


My experience wasn’t like this womans nor was it like my friends, Kellie.

We were talking the other day and she told me about this occurance that happened to her the night before. This is her encounter and description of what happened:

“Ok. So I wasn’t extremely tired but I was slowly falling asleep but trying not to. When I finally felt myself falling asleep I tried to stop it by waking myself up, but at that point my body couldn’t move and I couldn’t breathe. I tried reaching for Orion to help me because I thought I was literally going to suffocate to death, but my arms wouldn’t move. I tried speaking but nothing came out. My brain was awake but my body asleep. Finally after fighting it for about 20 seconds I forced myself awake, while panting extremely hard trying to catch my breath. Fuckin scary.”

This is my experience. It wasn’t as intense and scary as Kellie’s but it happened.

Mine was brief but like you’ve all heard, felt like eternity. I was napping on the couch in the living room of my apartment. I remember actually dreaming and seeing what I was doing in my dream. I was thinking of the new inspiration book I was going to create. I made one a while ago but it wasn’t who I really was. I needed a book that characterized what truly inspires me. I saw this book in my head. I had pictures, designs, cut-outs, colors filling up the pages.

Then I opened my eyes. I could hear the kids outside; splashing, jumping, playing in the pool. Nothing occurred to me yet because I had no desire to move. Then I tried to.  I couldn’t. I fought it and struggled, but nothing happened. Luckily, I was positioned in a way where my airways were completely cleared and my breathing was not blocked. I remember when Kellie told me what was happening with her that she just kept pushing her mind, telling herself to move. It sounds crazy to just believe and keep fighting.

So I did it.

Yes I was completely capable of laying there for hours and still surviving, but it was scary. It was something that has never happened to me before. I had no control over my body. I was paralyzed and I wanted out. So I kept telling myself to move, push, shove, speak, yell, kick. I thought maybe if I close my eyes that I would fall back to sleep. I closed them. Kept encouraging myself and then something clicked.

That is it.

It was over. I could move. I could kick. I could get up, run over to my computer and start this post.

I’ve spent the last couple minutes researching it a bit and drew upon this interesting article on sleep paralysis and the experience the author had. I think it’s definitely worth reading.*:IE-SearchBox%26rlz%3D1I7TSHB%26tbs%3Disch:1


Mind boggling it all is. My heart is still beating at an uncommon rate.


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2 Responses

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  1. J D Min said, on May 10, 2010 at 6:00 pm

    That first video is pretty good and I agree that sleep paralysis can be quite terrifying. Thanks for blogging your experience!

  2. Kellie said, on May 11, 2010 at 4:20 pm

    This is a really good post nick. So scary that this stuff happens. I’m glad it happened to someone else though so that they understand what it feels like

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